She's Not That Girl
by silver tears and wasted fears
Summary: "I'm saying that it's alwaysalwaysalways Quinn, and I'm just not sure how much more of that I can take." Rachel-centric. Hints at PXR. Spoilers for Original Song. I don't own Glee or I'm not that girl


_"Do you know how the story plays out? I get Finn, and you get heartbroken."_

Rachel ran out of the auditorium in tears, waiting until she reached the hall way to really break down. She wanted to just get angry at Quinn for being a female dog, no, worse, she wanted go just get angry at Quinn for being a _bitch_, but the thing is: she was right. Rachel pressed herself against the cool metal of the lockers and cradled her head in her hands, mulling over the thought. Quinn was right. Rachel was always the one that ended up with the tangled, mangled, heart, while Quinn came out smelling like freaking roses! Rachel knows that she'll never be as tall, or pretty, or skinny as Quinn. She's well aware. But, she's a better person. She's not claiming to be a great person, not even a good person. But, out of everything, Rachel knows that she's a better person than Quinn Fabray. But why did no one else seem to see that? Was the girl's smile so blinding that her cruel actions could be so easly overlooked? That just didn't sit well. Well, Rachel decided while wiping furiously at her eyes, crying solves nothing. To come face to face with the realization at hand, Rachel Berry will do what Rachel Berry does best. She'll sing about it.

_**Glee**_

Rachel sits in the front row of glee sandwiched between Noah and Mercedes: the only two people in Glee she calls her true friends. She's shaking in her seat and she feels Noah place his hand over hers, to still her. She looks up at him, and he grins at her, calming the flutter in her insides.

She had never been so nervous about a performance, before. In fact, she had never been nervous about a performance ever. But, this was not just any performance. She had found the perfect song to describe how she felt about the Quinn situation. She told Noah about her song and why she was singing it, and he stood behind her one hundred percent. He felt she needed to release some pent up agression. He agreed with her whole-heartedly, and if her confrontation with Quinn would bring up some old skeletons that he didn't necessarily want to think about? So be it. This was for Rachel. For her? He'd do anything.

Rachel tentatively raised her hand when Mr. Schue walked into the room. Mr. Schue was taken aback. Rachel very rarely raised her hand, she usually just started talking. And when she did raise her hand, it was confidently thrust high into the air. He brushed the thought aside.

"Yes, Rachel? What is it?" he asked impatiently.

"Do you think that maybe I could per-perform something?" she asked shyly.

Mr. Schueseter sighed heavily. Rachel always needed the spotlight.

"No, Rachel." He said firmly. "Sectionals are in _two days. _We need to rehearse."

"_Please_, Mr. Schuester." She pleads. He hears her voice crack and looks up at her. He looks into her eyes and sees... something there. He knows he's not the only one because Santana Lopez, of all people, is also looking at her in concern. It's something in those brown eyes that prompts him to respond.

"Uh, that's alright, I guess. Just... make it quick."

Rachel nods and rushes up to take the floor. She was going to give a little introduction, but she sees Quinn and Finn all wrapped up in eachother in the back row, and she knows there's nothing really to say, she just has to sing about it.

She rushes over to the piano bench and begins to play. She keeps her eyes down the whole time, never making eye contact with anyone. Just focusing on the music, and putting emotion into her voice.

_Hands touch, eyes meet_  
_Sudden silence, sudden heat_  
_Hearts leap in a giddy whirl_  
_He could be that boy_  
_But I'm not that girl._

_Don't dream too far_  
_Don't lose sight of who you are_  
_Don't remember that rush of joy_  
_He could be that boy_  
_I'm not that girl_

_Ev'ry so often we long to steal_  
_To the land of what-might-have-been_  
_But that doesn't soften the ache we feel_  
_When reality sets back in_

_Blithe smile, lithe limb_  
_She who's winsome, she wins him_  
_Gold hair with gentle curl_  
_That's the girl he chose_  
_And heaven knows_  
_I'm not that girl..._

_Don't wish, don't start_  
_Wishing only wounds the heart_  
_I wasn't born for the rose and pearl_  
_There's a girl I know_  
_He loves her so_  
_I'm not that girl..._

She finishes the song and looks out at the crowd with glassy eyes, awaiting a response. She's shocked to find that all of the faces are filled with either awe or pity.

Well, almost all.

"Wow, really, Rupaul? You're that jealous of me? Just get over Finn, already, he doesn't want you."

"It's not about Finn." Rachel bites back.

She sees all the looks of disbelief on everyone's face and decides to elaborate.

"Alright, it is about Finn. But not just him. It's Finn, Noah, Mr. Schue," she falters on the last one, "...Shelby." The room is enveloped into a silence, and after no one speaks, she decided to continue. "Finn? Well, that's obvious. Time and time again last year, while they were dating, he kissed me, led me on, claimed he had feelings for me...but he always went back to her. Because he would always want her over me. Let's not forget how he can forgive her for sleeping with someone else, and then spending _months_ telling him he was the father of a baby that he wasn't. But, he can't forive me for merely kissing another boy and telling him right after?" She mouths a 'sorry' at Puck before continuing.

"And, Noah? While I consider him a wonderful friend now, and hindsight is always 20-20, so I understand _why_- that does not change the fact that during that brief week we dated, I really felt we had... something, you know? Something worth holding onto. But then I saw the longing looks directed at _Quinn_," she spat the name out, "and I just couldn't take it. Couldn't take another boy choosing her over me. I had to end it." She sees him look surprised at this, but the words are flowing out of her now. She has to keep going.

"And Mr. Schuester?" She says, turning to him. "You hate me." He's about to protest but she stops him. "Don't deny it! You abhor me, but you adore her. I suspect she reminds you of a young Terri, back when she was still the center of your world, but nevertheless, that is no excuse. Quinn was going to let your wife pass of her baby as **your own.** All I ever did was try to make this club, the best it could be. I love it so much and-" She stops, her voice is rising and she doesn't want to get into dangerous territories. "And let's not forget the Glist. If it were me, you would have ratted me out faster than I can say double standard! But, it wasn't me. It was her. That changes _everything._" Tears are flowing freely now. She sighs heavily and walks over to the piano bench.

"Let's not forget-" she pauses, hesitant. "Shelby." Mr. Schue, who had previously been protesting, stops at this. "My own mother- my own _mom_ would rather have a baby girl that looked just like Quinn Fabray, a cruel girl who teased and tormented me, than her daughter? The girl who looks just like her? Her own flesh and blood? She wanted a daughter just sososo bad, just not _me_ as her daughter, because I'm not good enough." She looks directly into Quinn's eyes. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think when you gave up your baby to her, you were like 'hm, how can I hurt Rachel the most?' It's a double standard. Because she's pretty, and I'm not. Because she's Quinn, and I'm Rachel. I don't think I can ever stand to sing with her! I'm sure everyone will like her more anyway." Puck gapes at her as she chokes back a sob. What was she suggesting? This was not part of the plan.

"Rachel, what are you saying?" Mr. Schuester asks.

"I'm saying it's alwaysalways**always** Quinn and I'm not sure how much more of that I can take." She's not trying to hold back any tears now. 'I'm saying I- I need to get out of here."

So she does.

**A/N: Now, I know what you're thinking. You're ending it there? Yes. I am. There will be no sequel. I'm firm on that. That's the place I wanted it to end. It's up to you. Did she mean get out of the room at that moment? Or get out of Glee in general? **

**That's the question. **

**But, if any of you read my other fic 'Where the Stars Go Blue' (Shameless pluuuug), then I need help thinking of duets for Sam/Quinn and Mike/Tina to sing. HELPPPP! That's why I haven't updated in so long. **


End file.
